gtoodbyes are hard to do

hmmmm


when i started college four years agho, i made myelf a promise.

i told myself not to get emotionally attached with anyone, because i dont handle goodbyes well.

id suffered enough separation anxiety from my highh school good byes, and i dont need the same amount of drama in my life...

now, looking back, i think that was a pretty easy task. what made it hard though, was that my classmates seemed to be genuinely nice. they seemed to speak my language of non-sensical childishness. they spoke my language of fun fun fun. they ahd the same devil-may-care attitude as i had. they were as spontaneous as i was. they were, in a sense, made in the same m,old as i was.


we may come from different mothers, but our relationships feel more brotherly and sisterly than our own relationships with our siblings are.

now, i just came home from my econd to the last day in school.

i remember my classmates' faces and it doesnt take long for my eyes to start getting watery.

they have been with me for so long, that i dont even know how to cope without them

i have gone back to that chubby 4th year high school guy who was so afraid to let go of his high school buddies because that is where he foudn his first barkada...

but...this time, i feel its far more deep than that. they arent just friends..they are the best friends..


they are the only one's i can share a cigarette, a lollipop or a beer bottle with without getting grossed out. they can stay in my bed even if its dirty as shit. they are comfortable enough to visit my home, even if i wasnt in it. i have befriended their families and have felt comfortable in their own little worlds.

actually, asit seems today, we no longer have our own little worlds. we m,ove in one world we have created for ourselves. everybody we know becomes everyone else's friend. my point is, weve made ourselves so much parts of each others lives that its hard to let go


but this is exactly what ill have to do..

and im quite glad i wont be having to do it alone


bye bitches!